What If Burnout Begins With You?

What if burnout begins with you, the way you process obligations and behaviors that lend to exhaustion, and not your perceived pressures, deadlines, and responsibilities?
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What if what you’re calling burnout is actually a pattern, a mindset? A behavioral cycle you haven’t stopped to examine?

What If Burnout Begins With You?

What if burnout begins with you, the way you process obligations and behaviors that lend to exhaustion, and not your perceived pressures, deadlines, and responsibilities?
​​
What if what you’re calling burnout is actually a pattern? A mindset? A behavioral cycle you haven’t stopped to examine?

Burnout vs. Discouragement

People often describe burnout as working hard and not having a return on your investment. And while I think that is partially true for some people, that more aligns with discouragement.

Discouragement says,

“I’m trying and it’s not working.” 
“I’m not as far as I feel I should be.”
“This is hard. I can’t seem to keep my head above water.”
“I just can’t seem to manage my thoughts, mood, or behaviors.”
“I can’t catch a break.”

Burnout says, “I cannot sustain the demands or this version of myself anymore.”

Failing to Consider Yourself in the Pursuit

I like to look at burnout through the lens of failing to consider yourself in the pursuit, failing to consider limitations and impact. It’s prioritizing dopamine, sometimes fearing failure, and feeling the constant need to overcome. It’s chasing achievement without auditing capacity and  pushing forward without asking what this is costing you.

The Million Acorns in Your Head

Another lens I like to consider is lacking discipline. It’s like there are one million acorns in your head scattered everywhere, and sometimes a new one appears that seems more tasty than the others, and like a squirrel, we chase it. We have no awareness of our tendency to chase novelty, no awareness of our inability to sit still, and definitely no awareness of how conditioning can lend to destruction. 

By conditioning, I mean the ways we were raised to equate productivity with worth. The messages we internalized from caregivers, teachers, society, and even friends that told us being busy meant being valuable. The subtle rewards we received for achieving more, doing more, pushing more. Sometimes we are not chasing because we lack focus. Sometimes we are chasing because we were trained to.

Novelty and movement can feel productive. However, constant movement is not the same thing as intentional progress.

Complex Burnout Requires Honest Assessment

If we contextually look at burnout, we might see that it can be very complex and, depending on the person, derived from varying issues. The key lies in discovering whether this is a complex issue comprised of more than one lens, or if it’s just a single thing.

One question we can ask ourselves to uncover where it all comes from is simple: Why?

For example, if I keep changing my strategy every time a new idea pops up, why? Because I feel like I need to do this. Why? Because I fear that if I don’t figure out a way, I’ll be trapped in this paycheck-to-paycheck lifestyle and exhausted. Why do I believe that? Because that’s all I’ve known. Why is that all I’ve known? Because I’ve never seen anything else, and everyone around me is tired. 

And then we go deeper..... Because I’m too afraid of being broke.  Afraid of branching out.  Afraid of having others see me fail. So I try everything. I throw everything but the kitchen sink at it. It’s got me anxious and exhausted. 

And now we’re no longer talking about productivity but about fear, and  conditioning. We’re talking about beliefs that were never examined. Beliefs that have gone unassessed and ruling our behaviors.

What Behaviors Need to Stop

The next step is determining what behaviors we need to stop in order to halt the journey to burnout. For example, if we lack discipline in chasing different ideas, then we have an obligation to ourselves to consider how this impacts our mind and body. We also have an obligation to figure out how to distinguish chasing novelty from intentionally determining what we want to engage in that will lead to a desired outcome.

One simple way to weed out chasing new novelties is to consider whether you are truly willing to engage in the process it requires before starting. Really examine the process it would take to engage in and complete this new idea. Often, we separate the task from the energy that will be required to complete it. Slowing down gives us time to truly think about our decision or our desire. It intentionally slows that dopamine loop down.

Sometimes burnout is from contemplating  and starting too many things, lending to doing too much.

Burnout Does Not Always Mean  Self-Care

So with that being said, sometimes burnout comes from internal behaviors and not external factors. Sometimes burnout does not require self-care, naps, massages, and all the things that have become trendy. Many times, burnout is a call from within to assess behaviors that do not consider our bodies, our minds, our spirits, our past experiences, and where our thresholds lie at this point.

We have to be honest with ourselves about our limitations. Sometimes the body needs better boundaries, discipline, and discernment, and not just another break. 

Sometimes It’s Self-Discipline

Sometimes the self-care and change we desire call for self-discipline, behavioral audits, and responsibility.  Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself is  implement restraint, not rest. 


Xo

Frankie Reed, LPC
​Keep up the Momentum.