"It’s My Party: Lessons in Living My Life Authentically"

​It really is MY party, and I’ll cry if I want to—or not! The most important lesson I’ve come to realize is this: it’s my life, and I make of it what I want. With every passing year, I discover new truths and evolve in my stance on others. Today, these are a few lessons that stand out:


1. Put One Foot in Front of the Other
No matter the circumstances, keep moving forward. Even small steps add up.

2. Accept Negative Feelings, Then Let Them Go
It’s okay to feel upset, angry, or down. Acknowledge those emotions instead of avoiding or denying them, and then learn to release them—or just let them be.

3. Prioritize and Balance
Think of a balance beam. Work might take up a chunk of your time, but home and personal life include so many different things—they deserve just as much attention, if not more. Don’t let work overshadow everything else that makes life meaningful.

4. Give Permission to Love Yourself and Others as They Are
Stop clinging to ideas of what things should be based on societal conditioning. Embrace yourself and others exactly as you are.

5. Protect Your Energy
Energy is precious. Keep yours neutral for the unimportant things, amplify it for what brings happiness, and turn away from people or situations that drain it. Energy seeks fulfillment, so be mindful of the relationships and connections you nurture—and those you need to let go of.

6. Evolving as a Parent Is Necessary
Parenting isn’t easy, but it’s about raising children to navigate their world, not the one we grew up in. That doesn’t mean buying into what others think you should do—it means being intentional in preparing them for their future.

7. Friendship Is Tricky
Friendship is a dance of support, truth, and love. Friends cheer for you, even if they feel behind. They’ll drink your sugary Kool-Aid, even if it’s not their cup of tea—because you’d do the same for them.
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But here’s the catch: friendships evolve. You outgrow some people, and others were never true friends to begin with. That doesn’t make them bad people—they just weren’t meant for the “friend” category. Recognizing this isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary for protecting your energy.

8. Marriage: A Partnership and a Friendship
Marriage is about doing life with someone in a way that’s not harmful to either of you. It’s not about living up to childhood ideals, social media fantasies, or community expectations. And it’s certainly not a replacement for all your other relationships.

9. Define Your Worth
If you don’t define your worth, someone else will—and their definition will always fall short of what you deserve.

10. Stop Placing Your Expectations on Others
Everyone has their own path. Let them walk it. You do you, and they can do them—without either being right or wrong.

11. God Speaks to All of Us
God’s voice is within, speaking to everyday people like you and me. To hear it, we need to clear out the clutter—overworking, mental chaos, and constant busyness. The quieter our minds, the clearer His presence.

These are my top 11 lessons shaping my personal evolution. What are yours? Life isn’t about following a set script—it’s about writing your own. So, yes, you can have your cake (or chocolate chip pancakes) and eat it too!

Stay well,

Frankie Alisha