Who Are We Without the Stories We Tell Ourselves?

We can spend days, weeks, and even months in the suffering our thoughts create. You know, the thought that we should have a different life. The thought that we are not enough. The thought that we are alone, sad, or not well.

Sometimes, we get so entangled in our thoughts that we begin to treat them as facts. This experience, what therapists call cognitive fusion, can make it feel like our thoughts are running the show. Instead of seeing them as passing mental events, we hold on tightly, believe them fully, and allow them to shape how we see ourselves and the world around us.

What if one day you decided that your thoughts have a mind of their own, they are totally separate from who you are, and that your thoughts are not truth? They are just a perception, sometimes influenced by science, hormones, DNA, or even what we see and hear around us.

Sometimes we get so attached to these stories.. "I'm sad," "I'm stressed," "they don't love me," "I feel trapped".. because they give off a dopamine-fueled identity and distract us from settling into a safe, often less dramatic version of ourselves. This is the optimal version of us, but it can feel boring or even uncomfortable, especially if we're used to being emotionally unstable with our thoughts and feelings.
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The mind loves to create stories that are dramatic. It’s fun to it, because it keeps the chemicals dancing. But it’s difficult on the body and spirit.

So the next time you start to tell yourself a story, ask yourself these four questions:

1. Is this true?
2. Can I absolutely know this is true?
3. How do I react when I believe this thought or story?
4. Who am I without this thought or story?

Suffering is optional for us.

“When I believed my thought, I suffered. When I did not believe my thoughts, I did not.” — Byron Katie

xo

Frankie Alisha
Keep up the Momentum