#MyEarlyMorningThoughts: Perceptions Influence Reality

Jane walks into the room and turns in Thomas’ direction and waves at him, but he doesn’t wave back, just nods. Jane wonders why Thomas has barely spoken to her in two days during their training. She thought they had such a great start and that they would surely be a wonderful team. As this festers on her mind, she decides that she will not speak to Thomas any longer and sit by someone else for the remainder of the training for a new realtor company.

Jane's perception of the way Thomas greeted her was that he disliked her or that she had done something wrong. In turn, she responded by deciding that this angered or hurt her and that she would not speak to him any longer.

Thomas was seated at the table early, he had been eager to start his new career and was fond of his assigned partner, Jane. At his previous job, he made the mistake of becoming “more than friends” with his partner and ultimately it had a negative impact on his work environment. The split had caused him to leave his old place of employment. He did not want this to happen again and decided to be a little “less friendly”, although he did enjoy the personality and eagerness of Jane. He decided he would greet her with a nod today instead of his usual hug when she walked in this morning, he did. Later, he wondered if Jane had caught wind of what happened at his old job or knew his ex-girlfriend because she became very distant by ignoring him for the remainder of the training.

Thomas’ perception of the way Jane began to act was that she disapproved of his past or had a negative view of him.

Jane’s dilemma includes:
Using others’ actions toward her to validate her self-worth
Irrational emphasis on greetings
Inappropriate responses to situations (instead of communicating she chose to ignore and be hurt)


Thomas’ dilemma includes:
Shame and embarrassment about his past
Assuming rather than communicating
Fear of confronting issues that affect his future

The way we perceive things greatly affects how we interact with one another in our homes, public places, and most often our work environments. Neither of their perceptions was actual reality, yet their inaccurate perception of the event influenced their decisions prior to and even after the incident. Through increasing our ability to communicate we can avoid losing great friendships, opportunities, and sleep over irrational thinking. When we can begin to identify areas of lack in our lives we can change how we perceive events that occur and respond appropriately. Additionally, when we learn how to appropriately communicate how we feel, we are more opt to express those feelings without applying inappropriate responses. 

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