Loyalty to Ourselves: Mending the Heart We Break "Sometimes the person who broke your heart is you." One day, we look around and realize that life is not all that it’s cracked up to be. We haven’t reached the epitome of success that we imagined as young adults or teenagers. We’ve wasted so many hours on frivolous and unproductive things while others were burning the midnight oil to complete college or projects, spending extra time at work to prepare for upcoming tasks, making healthier and more beneficial life choices, or fostering relationships instead of pushing them away. Living a life to attract the spouse of their dreams or chasing after their own dreams. Sometimes we realize that we’ve done all those things, but for someone else’s dream life, not the life we want to live. What Do We Do When We Realize We’ve Broken Our Own Heart? The answer is simple. We look at others in envy, become bitter and unhappy, and bite everyone’s head off for accomplishing what we wanted for ourselves. That’s what we do. Oh, and we live in a functional depressive state called bitterness or look at life through a ‘salty’ lens. How Can We Refocus That Energy Into Something Productive? Simple, but hard. Stop being in denial about the setback we’ve caused in our lives and the role we’ve played in our stagnation or bitterness. Start accomplishing the things we want in life. The energy and time spent watching others on social media, through the blinds, or hearing about their success stories can be redirected toward developing a plan and working to achieve our goals. Disconnect from those who enable us to continue down a path of bitterness, and seek out people who are focused on growth and taking control of their futures. Gaining trust back in a relationship takes relentless work—the same applies to mending the relationship we have with ourselves. How Do We Stay Steady on the Path to Mending Our Own Hearts? It takes strength and courage to remain true to who we are created to be and not what the world encourages us to be. Be kind to ourselves by always doing what’s best for our overall and not just immediate well-being. Stay focused, and if we get off track, quickly get back on without beating ourselves down. Use kind and motivating words when we speak to ourselves. Disconnect from things that don’t bring joy or contribute to a positive future. Most importantly, remember to be kind to others as God has been kind and gracious to us. After all, kindness never has to apologize. Be blessed. Be true. Be committed and trusting in what God has stored inside of you.
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AuthorMy name is Frankie Reed-Shaw. I am a wife, mother of three, therapist, and lover of all things creative—especially writing thought-provoking pieces. About eight years ago, I began blogging about growth, maturity, and spiritual concepts. My passion lies in expressing challenging ideas that encourage me—and others—to think outside the box and strive to live an authentic, liberated life, free from unnecessary constraints. As a therapist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside people on their journeys toward self-discovery and healing, which deepens my belief in the importance of authentic connection and growth. Don’t be shy! I’d love for you to share your life experiences and wisdom in the comments of any post. Let’s continue to learn and grow together. Archives
January 2025
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