Love, Lessons, and the Practice of Curiosity

There is love all around us—and opportunity in every rupture for repair. However, the repair may not include the parts that were involved in the rupture, whether that be people, places, things, beliefs, traits, etc.

But we can rest assured that repair will happen, whether it’s faulty and temporary or solidly built for future success and fulfillment. The deepest of repairs happen when we not only shift our mindsets, but develop a deep practice of self-assessment.

Kintsugi reminds us: Healing doesn’t mean erasing the damage. It means making something even more meaningful from it.

One of the most helpful traits or beliefs that leads to the ability to self-assess is the understanding that every being or experience is our teacher and that every person we encounter reflects back to us something within ourselves that needs acknowledgment, and sometimes change.

Let’s say Susan from Facilities is always ranting about a job she has full autonomy to leave. It may be reflecting back my inner turmoil about wanting to leave—but I only share that in my journal or with my family.
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Or Tom’s inability to separate from a marriage that is draining him.
Or Antoinette’s open acknowledgment of her depression, but her inner refusal to get more sun, walk, or see a therapist consistently.

​What we see in others can often be a mirror to ourselves.

T​he Danger of Absolute Knowing
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In my understanding, absolute knowing becomes the detriment to our relationships—with ourselves, with others, and with the world around us. That kind of certainty often replaces curiosity, or most certainly drives it out. It leaves us unwilling to know more, comfortable maintaining narratives with half-truths, and stuck in echo chambers—either in our minds or with our social media algorithms.

So, How Can We Stay Grounded, Reflective, and Curious?
Here are two simple but explorative self-reflection questions:

1. What else could be happening here?
This question allows us to welcome more possibilities outside of our initial emotions, assumptions, or belief systems. It creates space for connection, change, and transformation.

2. What in this person resembles my story or highlights something unpleasant in me?
This one decreases the urge to demonize or judge others. Instead, it invites us into compassion, and even curiosity toward ourselves.

I hope you’re able to take something away from this something you can use in your everyday life to ground yourself not only in reality, but in understanding. To stay willing to be curious about how the world, including people, places, environments, and feelings, can teach us, challenge us, and help us grow. And sometimes, just altogether change, for the betterment of ourselves and the impact we have on the world around us.

Much like the art of kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold, our emotional and relational fractures don’t make us less valuable, they make us more well-rounded. Every crack tells a story, and when we lean into reflection, growth, and intentional repair, those cracks become part of our beauty and not something we hide, but something to honor.

Xo

Frankie Alisha
Keep up the Momentum