Fear: The Feeling That Keeps Us Running

By Frankie Alisha
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The damaging thing about fear is that we feel it so deeply it can alter the course of our lives. We feel it so intensely that it becomes almost impossible to regulate the emotional state it catapults us into. For me, fear often pushes me straight into action. I feel like I must do something now to prevent whatever outcome I’ve either catastrophized in my head or know to be true.
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Let’s bring this down to earth, because I think we’ve all lived it in some way.

“If I don’t get this degree…”
→ “I’ll never earn enough money.”
→ “I’ll never be worthy.”
→ “I won’t have status.”
→ “I’ll never be able to rest.”

Or maybe it’s the fear that:
“If I don’t get married…”
→ “I’ll always have to navigate life alone.”
→ “I’ll never meet societal standards.”
→ “I’ll never be able to rest.”

​Ultimately, it all boils down to this thought: “I’ll never be able to rest until I secure this, and I’ll never be able to rest if I don’t have this.”

It’s a cycle that keeps us in motion, always needing to prove something, always feeling the sadness of what might never be.

One of the ways I encourage people to process this kind of fear is to pause and explore. Before taking any action—before freezing up or running away—get curious about what’s happening in your mind and body. Write it out. Talk it out. Let yourself see the pattern so clearly that it becomes less powerful.

Because when we choose to explore rather than react, we open up a space to act from a place of regulation and, often, clarity. And sometimes, that clarity leads to an unexpected but powerful action: choosing to wait, to give yourself more time before doing anything.

And that, too, is an action.

So yes, fear. It is real and it can be overwhelming. But when we slow down and look at it with curiosity instead of panic, it doesn’t get to run the show.

What fears are you noticing today? What might happen if you chose to pause and explore them before you act?