Dis-Appointment by Mis-Appointment by Frankie Reed-Shaw

 So often we are disappointed by people in our lives simply because we have placed them in positions that they have never applied for or shown that they possess the attributes, characteristics, and/or qualifications to hold. So who is to blame for them failing to meet expectations that they never agreed upon? 

• We place coworkers in the category of friends simply because they have not been unfriendly to us after a few weeks of knowing them, but then expect them to be loyal, attentive, supportive, and respect us without observing that they can meet those expectations. 
• We marry and have children with spouses or boyfriends/girlfriends that we have not had the opportunity of knowing how they will parent or be as a spouse simply because we have these societal ideals in our head about how things should be, yet never truly have the conversations and spend the time to observe how they interact with children and so forth.  Additionally, our spouses probably never signed up to be interested in everything we want to do, drop their hobbies or friends for ours, or be the author and creator of our joy in life. Yet, we are ready to throw in the towel when we are no longer happy in relationships or feel that we are growing apart when they fail to give up themselves to make us happy or revive our joy in life. 
• Just because I bore three children, does not mean I can expect them to be someone they never agreed upon. I cannot place expectations on my children and then become heartbroken and disown them when they decide to be someone else. I learned this the hard way with my now 6 year old (lol). Surely she was suppose to give me kisses all day and snuggle with me until the end of time. Now I'm left to miss those all-day hugs and kisses while she proclaims that she is too big for that. Would I be right to be disappointed in her for not meeting expectations that she never agreed to or not being my all-day hugger? She never signed up for either of those positions.  
• Lastly, we will address family. If had a dollar for every time a sibling or my parents disappointed me then I would probably be out shopping, not blogging. Yes, I have  a sister, but I do not have a cheerleader in life, someone who should drop their life every time I pick-up mine, or be someone who is readily available at my beckon call. My sister is my sister. She is human. We are two totally different people with different lives, perceptions, and realities. The same goes to any other member of my family, and yours too. I can not place expectations and roles on her because we grew up together. 

In closing, we must begin to build relationships based on observable truths because honestly, people will show us who they really are if we take the time needed to see it. If we place people into their rightful category that they earned in our lives, we greatly reduce the chances of them disappointing us and keeping valuable connections. It is time to DIS-APPOINTMENT people and allow them to earn placement in our lives, in our communities, and in our places of employment.